Pain/Anger Issues

“How do you deal with pain/anger and those who hurt you? How do you handle the judgments of others?”

This is a prompt from an online Pagan blog that was linked through  I thought I’d try out blogging once a week about something spiritual and seeing if that would help me feel more connected to my faith.

This wasn’t this week’s prompt, but I was skimming through all the prompts, and this one seemed to fit what was on my mind the most at the moment.

Pain and anger seem to be a constant companion for me lately. One of my core beliefs is compassion.  I originally wrote forgiveness also, but that’s not true. I am not one to forgive easily, and I tend to hold a grudge. And when I can forgive, I never, ever forget. That’s one of my biggest weaknesses, but also one of my biggest strengths. If I don’t trust you, you are less likely to be able to hurt me.

But how do I deal with pain/anger? In honesty, I don’t. Not really. Occasionally, I’ll have flash anger, and that will be dealt with right then and there. Usually in the form of an argument. Otherwise, I tend to internalize everything and it festers and pops up at a later, much less appropriate time. This is something I need to work on.

Ideally, I would like to be able to deal with whatever is causing the pain or the anger right away. If not by dealing with the source of it, then by journaling and meditating to release it. That sounds like a good plan. Perhaps I can write out a bunch of my past suffrages and once I get it out I can burn the paper as a symbol of burning the emotions away. I think it would purifying, I just need to find a safe way and place to do it.

I’ve said very little in this post, but have thought about a lot. My goals at the end of this are: to start dealing with my issues right away, even if it is just in the form of writing it down and burning it away. To take 10 minutes a day and meditate to calm myself. To pray daily. And to honor my Goddess once a week. By next Saturday, I hope to come to this blog with an update on these goals and another prompt to write about.


The Farce of the Green

Saint Patrick’s Day. To many Americans, it’s just another day, a stupid, superficial reason to dress up in green with ridiculous accessories and drink lots of green beer and themed shots. But very few people actually know the history of this joyous, alcoholic holiday, and how many lives were lost so we could dump food color in foul tasting concoctions.

Patrick was originally British. He was picked up by Irish Raiders and brought to Ireland against his will. The stories tell us that he converted his religion, and went around Ireland chasing all the snakes out of Ireland. What most people don’t know is that Ireland was always free of snakes.

Snakes has long since been a term used by Christians to refer to some “evil” or negative force in the world. In this case, we are talking about Pagans. In the times of St. Patrick, many people in Ireland practiced a religion akin to what we consider Druidism. These people were healers, priests, story tellers of their people. They had done nothing wrong but live the way they believed was right. However, because they were not Christians, they were persecuted. Saint Patrick forced these poor, innocent pagans into converting to Christianity. And while I, for one, cannot verify this with 100% accuracy, it is very likely that those that did not convert were murdered.

However, today, if you tell this true story to any Christian, they will become defensive and deny the entire thing. Why? It’s a well known fact that Christians throughout history have persecuted those who do not follow their beliefs. Are people so ashamed of their ancestor’s pasts that they would delude themselves so? Apparently, so. Saint Patrick is no saint, but a murderer. He deserves no recognition for doing good deeds. He does not deserve his own day to be celebrated. But no, he and his deeds should never be forgotten. He should be remembered as an example of the atrocity society had created for itself, and the long we have come from it.

If it is, indeed, a long way at all. Think of that, friends, as you chug a green beer.